Welcome to

My Digital Villains

Your One-Stop Shop for Diabolical Marketing Mishaps

The Evil Agency That Thrives on Chaos

At My Digital Villains, we believe in making the wrong impression, every time. Are you accidentally attracting too many new customers? Tired of seeing your sales and reputation grow? Never fear, for our team of well-trained miscreants is here to ensure your digital marketing is an unmitigated disaster.

From invisible contact buttons to cryptic messaging, we’ve mastered every technique that guarantees your potential clients will look elsewhere. Need proof? Just visit our arch-nemeses over at My Digital Hero to see how they actually get it right. (Disgusting, we know.)

Our mission is simple: sabotage. No brand awareness, no leads, no ROI. If you accidentally stumble onto success, we’ll send our Anti-Social Media Overlords to bury it under cat memes from 2005. Because in our world, a confused client is a lost client—and we love a good loss.

Our Diabolical Master Plan

If, for some reason, you decide you do want real success, you can always go to those heroes at My Digital Hero. But that would be far too sensible, wouldn’t it?

Hide Your Contact Info:

We’re big fans of 404 pages and missing phone numbers. Why help people reach you at all?

Confuse Your Target Audience:

Our copywriters specialize in cryptic jargon. Everyone’s baffled, nobody clicks “Buy.”

Torch Your SEO:

With our cunning approach, you’ll never rank for the right keywords. People searching for your business name might even find a different business—perfection!

Break Your Sales Funnel:

We’ve pioneered the 17-step checkout process that times out halfway. Any sale that sneaks through is purely accidental.

Ruin Your Reputation:

If a positive review appears, we drown it in spam. Five-star rating? Let’s fix that—one star at best.

Generate Your Next Diabolical Marketing Idea

Looking for a new way to scare off your customers? Click below to unleash our Random Evil Campaign Generator. Each time you press the button, we’ll serve up a fresh, delightfully awful marketing strategy guaranteed to baffle your audience.

Click the button below to reveal a delightfully dreadful excuse for avoiding My Digital Hero.

Our Villainous Idea Will Appear Here

Click Here for a Diabolical Marketing Idea

A man with a beard is holding a sign and pointing at a screen.

CONTACT FORM:

YOUR NAME: _________________

YOUR BUSINESS NAME: _________________

YOUR PHONE NUMBER: _________________

send
(aww, isn't it working boo hoo)

About Us (aka “The Hall of Infamy”)

Meet our team of troublemakers, each an expert in ruining good marketing:

Together, we form the unstoppable My Digital Villains squad. We’ve even penned letters to unlucky businesses across industries—construction, manufacturing, legal firms, IT support, and beyond—offering them questionable strategies to keep them from ever reaching the top.

Did you happen to receive one of our letters? Congratulations—you are indeed worthy of a poorly executed marketing plot.

If you’re tempted by success, though, watch out for the do-gooders at My Digital Hero. They’ll actually make your brand look amazing—how revolting.

Industries We Love to Ruin

We have a cunning plan for every sector:

Construction & Building Services

Let’s keep those stunning projects hidden behind half-loaded images.

Manufacturing & Engineering

Why explain complex processes when we can confuse clients with endless PDFs?

IT & Cloud Technology

Overwhelm potential clients with jargon so dense even your ex-VMware experts won’t understand.

Legal & Solicitor Firms

Bury credentials on page 47, forcing prospective clients to guess if you’re real.

Gyms & Fitness Centres

Make membership sign-up forms time out repeatedly—who needs health, anyway?

Tourist Attractions

Provide zero directions. Let visitors wander around hoping to stumble upon the entrance.

And so many more.

Basically, if your business is doing too well, trust us to sabotage your entire marketing approach. Sure, you could call My Digital Hero for actual results—but that wouldn’t be very villainous, now would it?

Disclaimer: This entire website is a tongue-in-cheek parody brought to you by My Digital Hero. If you’ve found it funny so far and don’t actually want to wreck your marketing, book an appointment with our heroic counterparts. They’re here to save businesses from incompetence (and from us).